Your Seat Can Also Be Used as a Flotation Device

1/1/2020

I was in my mid forties, contently married for 14 years and KNEW life was perfect! <br><br>
ME: Life is perfect! <br><br>
LIFE: Wanna bet? <br><br>
Details are not important... Him~ my sister~Our couch
in our house~Fucking~Done and divorced. <br><br>
What the fuck was I supposed to do now? OH, right! Date! <br><br>
I knew there was no fighting it, so I prepared to drift aimlessly
in the swelling waves of first dates. Knowing, should it
advance into a second date, I would inevitably use my seat
cushion as a flotation device in order to sail into the sunset
of date . Ah yes, date three...the all aboard date. <br><br>
"Pardon me, ladies and gentlemen? May I please have
your attention? The pilot has turned on the fasten your seat-belt
light. Please, put your seat trays into the upright position,
buckle your seat-belt and scream from the top of your lungs!!
Turbulence...straight/bi/why are there so many labels
now/I don't know what the fuck I'm doing anymore...ahead.
<br><br>
I was drowning in a sea of fake gestures, hidden with phony
smiles and had accepted the cruel reality thrust upon me.
<br><br>
"You want me to put what where and do what with it?"
<br><br>
Dating has evolved over the years and it had become foreign
to me. Instead of checking the temperature with my toe,
I ran full force and jumped in!! <br><br>
FUCK!! <br><br>
I FORGOT THAT I DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO SWIM!! <br><br>
With the help of magnificent mermaids and loyal lifeguards,
I woke up on the beach of an abandoned island! *Phew* <br><br>
I've been thoroughly enjoying all of the messages
I keep finding in the glass bottles floating by. Occasionally,
a stranger will wash up on the beach and keep me company for
a bit and share something new with me! <br><br>
I've decided to stay here for a while and soak it all
in. After all, it's my turn! It's my time and IT'S
MY FUCKING LIFE! <br><br>
HEY YOU! I said flotation device! Not blow up doll! Aww...what
the hell?! Got room for me on there?