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A chuckle or two 3/25/2015
“A little boy and his friends are being called bastards
and bitches by bullies at school. The boy goes home and asks,
"Dad, what are bastards and bitches?" And his
dad replies, "Bitches are ladies and bastards are
gentlemen." Then the boy goes upstairs to see his
mom. As he enters the room, he accidentally drops a perfume
bottle, and his mom says, "Shit!" "Mom,
what is shit?" and she says, ...
1 Comments, 100 Views,
3 Votes
,4.41 Score
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Laughter is the best medicine... 3/25/2015
“A small boy asks his Dad, "Daddy, what is politics?"
Dad says, "Well , let me try to explain it this way:
I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call
me Capitalism. Your mom, she's the administrator
of the money, so we'll call her the Government. We're
here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the
People. The nanny, we'll consider her the Working
Class. And your baby brother, ...
1 Comments, 47 Views,
3 Votes
,4.41 Score
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The Genie 3/24/2015
A man was walking on a beach in California. He found a dirty
old bottle and picked it up. When he rubbed it to clean it
up a Genie popped out.
“Oh Master. Thank you for freeing me. For that you are
granted one wish. What would that be?” the Genie said.
“I’ve always wanted to visit Hawaii but I don’t like
flying. Build me a highway so I can drive there.” ...
1 Comments, 117 Views,
7 Votes
,5.33 Score
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Confession 3/23/2015
Gianni Poggio, an elderly Italian man who lives on the outskirts
of Positano, Italy, recently went to the local church for
confession.
When the priest slid open the panel in the confessional,
the man said: "Father, during World War II, a beautiful
Jewish woman from our neighborhood knocked urgently on
my door and asked me to hide her from the Nazis. So I hid her
in my attic."
...
1 Comments, 116 Views,
10 Votes
,4.18 Score
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Ha ha! Very funny Kyle! 3/21/2015
A teacher is instructing a class and sees that JImmy is not
paying attention, so she asks Jimmy, "You see there
are 3 squirrels sitting on a fence, and you shoot one, how
many are left on the fence?" Jimmy replies, "There would be none." The teacher
asks, "Why would there be none?" Jimmy says
to the teacher, "Because the shot scared the rest
of them away." The teacher says, "No, the answer
is ...
3 Comments, 135 Views,
12 Votes
,5.45 Score
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in laws !!! 3/21/2015
On the way back from a dinner celebrating their twentieth
wedding anniversary, a couple is involved in a gruesome
accident. The husband survives with only a broken arm,
but the wife's face is horribly disfigured. A plastic
surgeon said a skin graft is the only remedy, but the woman
is too thin to offer much spare flesh. It will have to come
from her husband's buttocks. They agree to the ...
1 Comments, 179 Views,
12 Votes
,5.80 Score
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Just some quick jokes for ya... 3/20/2015
So, a husband and wife are online trying to come up with a
new password for their profile. The husband types, "Mypenis, "
and the wife falls out the chair and is rolling on the ground
laughing ... the screen reads, "Error. Not long enough."
The teacher asked Billy, "Why did you bring your cat
to school today Billy?" Billy, being scared and crying,
tells the teacher, "Because I heard ...
1 Comments, 70 Views,
7 Votes
,5.59 Score
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Funny story 3/20/2015
The Amish Mother and her
One cold winter day, an Amish woman, along with her ,
were riding in an old -drawn buggy on their way home.
The turned to her mother and said, "My hands
are so cold, I can barely feel them."
The mother replied, "Perhaps you should put your
hands between your legs. The heat from your body should
warm them up nicely." The did as her mother
said, and ...
0 Comments, 118 Views,
8 Votes
,5.56 Score
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Everyone can use a little laughter in their life... 3/20/2015
The first story...
There was this old couple who had been married for fifty
years. The two of them were sitting down for breakfast one
morning when the gentleman says to his wife of fifty years,
"Just think dear, we've been married for fifty
years."
"Yes we have, " she replied, "And just
think, fifty years ago we were both sitting here at this
very table together."
...
0 Comments, 89 Views,
10 Votes
,4.58 Score
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A Golf Joke 3/18/2015
A golfer is waiting for a threesome to join in a round of golf.
A threesome shows up and they invite him to play with them.
He does and shoots a fabulous two under par playing right-handed.
The following Saturday he’s waiting once again and the
same threesome shows up. They invite him to join them. He
shoots another two under par but this week he shoots left-handed.
The ...
0 Comments, 151 Views,
11 Votes
,6.16 Score
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Chuck Norris Joke! 3/16/2015
They say that they found the cure for Cancer in Chuck Norris's
tears.
Too bad he never cries.
0 Comments, 25 Views,
1 Votes
,3.70 Score
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Question:.... 3/16/2015
Name Two things in the Air that can get a girl Pregnant?
Answer: Her Legs.
0 Comments, 16 Views,
3 Votes
,3.92 Score
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A Cowboy Story 3/15/2015
A cowboy is on his first visit to a big city. He enters a bar
and orders a drink. A few minutes later a beautiful woman
walks in and sits next to him.
She looks at him and says, “Are you a cowboy?”
The cowboy looks at her and replies, “Ma’am. I get up
in the morning and ride in the saddle all day, I eat chow from
a chuck wagon, and at night I sleep under the stars. ...
0 Comments, 181 Views,
9 Votes
,4.28 Score
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Senior Sex 3/15/2015
Maude and Claude, both 81, lived in The Villages, in Florida.
They met at the singles club meeting and discovered over
time that they enjoyed each other’s company. After several
weeks of meeting for coffee, Claude asked Maude out for
dinner and, much to his delight, she accepted.
They had a lovely evening. They dined at the most romantic
restaurant in town. Despite their ages, they ...
0 Comments, 141 Views,
7 Votes
,5.59 Score
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knock knock 3/14/2015
who is there?
me me who? me so horny nobodys home but me love you long time...
dont judge me im bored lol
0 Comments, 20 Views,
3 Votes
,2.45 Score
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What Part of your Body goes to Heaven First? 3/13/2015
A Teacher asked her class that when you die, what part of
your Body goes to Heaven First. A Student raised his hand
and said "I Know, I Kniw! It's your Feet! Right?"
Everybody looked at him strange. Then he said again "I
know it's your Feet, because every night I see my Mom
with her Feet in the Air saying OH GOD!!! I'm Coming!"
lol
I hope that you got it and enjoyed reading this.
0 Comments, 31 Views,
7 Votes
,3.55 Score
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The difference. 3/10/2015
What is the difference between a young and an old ?
A young uses KY and an old uses poly grip.
2 Comments, 42 Views,
5 Votes
,3.47 Score
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Chicken Rancher 3/6/2015
A rancher went to a local bar and ordered a glass of champagne.
The woman sitting next to him said, 'How about that?
I just ordered champagne, too!'
'What a coincidence' the farmer said. 'This
is a special day for me. I am celebrating.'
‘This is a special day for me too, I am also celebrating, '
said the woman.'
'What a coincidence!' said the farmer. ...
3 Comments, 191 Views,
13 Votes
,4.99 Score
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sports 3/6/2015
what is the difference between a pussy and a bowling ball?//
well you only put 3 fingers in a bowling ball.....
0 Comments, 38 Views,
5 Votes
,2.82 Score
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hurracane gussy 3/2/2015
this middle aged man was out of town and had little to do .
he saw this and decided to go check it out.
walked in to this woman at the desk and he told her my name
is big moe and i want to get fucked. she told him go to the 2st
door on the right he walked over to it and knocked loud as
he said my name is big moe and i want to get fucked. this voice
rang out.Well slid 20 dollars under the ...
0 Comments, 131 Views,
11 Votes
,0.18 Score
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Show Time 3/1/2015
Dad was in bed on a Sunday morning. He wrote a note and asked
his four year old to bring it to Mommy. He did.
She opened the note and read: ‘The tent pole is up, the
canvas is spread. Quit your damn cooking and come back to
bed!’
She wrote a note back and asked the four year old to bring
it to Daddy. He did.
Dad opened the note and read: ‘Take the tent pole ...
0 Comments, 185 Views,
9 Votes
,3.43 Score
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The Texan 2/28/2015
This Texan walked into this bar in Alaska and there were
3 men sitting at the bar. They all started laughing when
they say his cowboy hat and told him all men from Texas are
pussys. They told him to be tough around here you must be
able to choug a beer go out and fuck and escmo girl and wressle
a grizzle bear and be back here in an hour.The Texan grabed
and chouged a 5th of jack then asked were ...
1 Comments, 163 Views,
8 Votes
,1.86 Score
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Lost Golfer 2/26/2015
A man playing on a new golf course got confused as to what
hole he was on. He saw a lady playing ahead of him. He walked
up to her and asked if she knew what hole he was playing. She
replied, "I'm on the 7th hole, and you're
a hole behind me, so you must be on the 6th hole." He
thanked her and went back to his golf.
On the back nine, the same thing happened, and he approached
the lady ...
0 Comments, 223 Views,
17 Votes
,5.81 Score
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old man's woes 2/26/2015
a 65 year old man visited a nudist colony the receptionist told him the charges were Rs. 5000 deposit (refundable if he did not like there - within
6 hours) & Rs. 500 per day/per visit he paid in cash , got locker to put all his belongings including
his clothes, and set off in a beautiful garden many people -- all nude were there- nobody bothered to look
at him he passed a few couples fucking in ...
1 Comments, 136 Views,
11 Votes
,5.97 Score
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old man's woes 2/26/2015
a 65 year old man visited a nudist colony the receptionist told him the charges were Rs. 5000 deposit (refundable if he did not like there - within
6 hours) & Rs. 500 per day/per visit he paid in cash , got locker to put all his belongings including
his clothes, and set off in a beautiful garden many people -- all nude were there- nobody bothered to look
at him he passed a few couples fucking in ...
1 Comments, 47 Views,
2 Votes
,5.20 Score
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Honeymoon Prank 2/25/2015
The wedding date was set and groom's 3 friends -
A Carpenter
An Electrician
And A Doctor
were deciding what pranks to play on the couple on their
wedding night.
The carpenter figured sawing the slats of their bed would
be fun..
The electrician decided to wire the bed with current , of
course...
The Doctor wouldn't commit himself, but ...
1 Comments, 163 Views,
12 Votes
,5.27 Score
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Why does the woman sheriff always get her man? 2/24/2015
Because she has the biggest posse
0 Comments, 28 Views,
6 Votes
,0.80 Score
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Men are MEN 2/23/2015
A sexy blonde at a Casino, seemed a little intoxicated She bet 20, 000 Euro on a single roll of dice.
She said - "I hope you don't mind, but I feel luckier
when I'm nude".
With that she removed her clothes, rolled the dice and yelled
- "come on baby, Mama needs new clothes!"
As the dice came to a stop, she jumped and yelled - "yes
yes, I won.....I won...."
...
1 Comments, 160 Views,
14 Votes
,6.34 Score
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THE LAWYER AND THE DUCK 2/16/2015
Subject: THE LAWYER & THE DUCK
A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural North Wairarapa.
He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field
on the other side of a fence.
As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer
drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing.
The ...
2 Comments, 169 Views,
12 Votes
,5.45 Score
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1 life 2 live 2/15/2015
A blonde woman, a priest, a pilot, and a high schooler are
all on a crashing plane. There are only enough parachutes
to save three of them, and the pilot is the first to jump out.
He grabs a parachute and says, "I'm a pilot! People
need me to fly planes!" and then jumps out. The blonde
is next to jump out. She grabs a parachute and says, "My
hair won't look pretty if I'm dead!" and
then jumps ...
1 Comments, 166 Views,
11 Votes
,4.85 Score
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